He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize