the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
