i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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