hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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