This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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