They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
