There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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