the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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