my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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