Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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