YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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