no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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