everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He shit in the fireplace
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize