I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
