after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
