You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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