and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
