idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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