I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
