your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
