I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
