so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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