how hairy? two words: wookie tits
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
