And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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