and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
