I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
