Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
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