dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize