so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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