i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
