just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
