She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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