So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
