if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
