These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
