don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
