used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
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