Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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