I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
