I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
