just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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