Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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