awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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