I hate your face
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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