i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
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Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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