I am full of burrito and curiosity
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
