Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.