Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
