Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
