I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
What a dumb baby whore.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
