I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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