Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
