He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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