went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize