there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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