Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
