We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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