I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
