Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm way too hungover for life right now
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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