Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
All the doctor said was why
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
