Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize