Im at strip club and am horny
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
