i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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