He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize