First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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