You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
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Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
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You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
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