your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
