First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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